What day is it?

SLUMP DAY!! Wait... that's not how that goes.... 

Alright, I got too busy at work to blog on Slump day, so we're skipping right into THURSDAY IS TERRIBLE...

Busiest week of work in the month, and I'm on down time. This could be a good omen, but how often are omens good? 

12:45 PM

That would be the splendor of today. That is the most REAL MAN jerky you'll ever find. We've made it to a point in marketing to where jerky is sold in a tobacco-esque pouch with Jack Daniels style lettering... this particular style is even numbered "No. 15." What was JD... old 57? I don't drink that shit, it makes me want to punch people... and I already want to punch people as I've had zero caffeine today. 

Which is why I procured a can of sweet sweet Rockstar. Due to the fact that I'm going to snap at all of the tomfoolery about.

Yelp is terrible. If you want to know if something is good, go check it out. If its terrible, NEVER go back. I hear that if you get a bad review on Yelp, that you can pay to have the comment removed... which kind of defeats the purpose of Yelp. 

2:46 PM

I saw an article on Reddit about a magazine ad where they used adhesive to put the two pages together. When you would pry it apart it read "If you have to use force, it's rape." Well, I've raped 2 doors, a packet of mustard, and my own ass today. (Protein only diet, ughhhh)

I need to start taking notes at my desk. I have all this stuff to write down later, that I don't. I end up forgetting about what it was I wanted to talk about for the blog about talking about the random things I think about while I'm looking into the abyss. Like that prior thing about the rape ad... that was leading to something, and I can't remember what it was... now I'm curious... what in the hell was it?

Was it about learning that Olympia Washington has an annual homemade porn festival held in a theatre which also serves tasty food stuffs and beverages containing alcohol? OH! Yeah...

Why is it I have never went full on ramjam with a woman while listening to Gustav Holst's "Die Planeten" suite? Well, not the suite... just Mars. I mean, the suite is about 45 minutes long, but that takes you on a journey with the different themes, plus, I think Pluto is still considered a planet in there. So just Mars... it's approx 7 minutes long... but hey, at least it isn't Mercury right? I was thinking that I haven't, mainly because, it would probably be awkward... Holst really isn't Teddy Pendergrass... then I thought that if I had an actual FULL ORCHESTRA performing the piece live, that it would be less awkward.

Then I flashed to that scene in American Psycho of Christian Bale hitting it from behind and then looking at himself in the mirror in that true narcissist fashion. 

This is a thing that we shall never speak of again.