We were talking about "Murda Ma$e" this morning, and being a fan of that thug jam back in the 90's I decided to take a trip down memory lane.
Now, they block all of the internet radio at work because of bandwidth on the ole internet. However, the workaround around the office is to just pull things up on Youtube. I found the ENTIRE album for Harlem World by Ma$e on Youtube, and got about half way through it before my break.
If you're looking to desensitize yourself to the "N-word," you need to meet Ma$e. He is by far the world's slowest rapper. As the movie Rambo held (and possibly holds) the record for acts of violence per minute in a film, Ma$e must hold the record for use of the N-bomb in an album. I mean, the Grand Dragon of the KKK would take this man to the side at some point and say "Hey bro," (I assume he would use bro as in like... 'brother') "You uh... you should tone it down there" or maybe "Hey bro, uh... would you be interested in a job in the field of advertising? We can make an exception ot your disability..."
I suppose the most horrifying aspect of this album is the intro... as they mention it being 1997.
God damn I am old. When you're rapping about your 98 Tahoe being hot shit... I mean, we're 3 years away from that album being 20 years old. I use to bump this shit... quietly in my room. As if I were to play it from my car stereo in the wrong part of town as a 16 year old nerdo, I'd probably 'get fucked wit'"
If anything, you'll remember there was a time where Lil' Kim was hard. I kind of want Ma$e and Twista to do an album called "Tortise and Tha Hare." Even overlay the two rapping, and sync up occasional words at off points. It would be difficult, as I have no idea what happened to Twista, and Ma$e is bipolar about being "Murda Ma$e" and "Pastor Ma$e."
Since everything is late, and I'm break crazy... let's talk about this other thing... The new song by Ke$ha and Pitbull... "Timber." I would like to make a wild proposal about what that song is really about.
Picture if you will... a guy and a girl meeting at the club. There's old saying I remember from college, "A man goes out to the club wondering if he'll get laid; A woman goes knowing."
Have you ever heard that old urban legend about the woman who has HIV, knows it, and then makes it a point to spreas it around? To paraphrase: she goes out and meets a man, brings him back to the hotel, offers him a condom, he declines, they bang, and he wakes up hungover to "Welcome to the AIDS club" written on the mirror of the hotel room, and she's gone.
Enter the Ke$ha voiced character of the song... who wants to "Make it a night you won't remember" because you got so goddamn hammer drunk you blacked out around the song "Shots" and then she becomes "The one you won't forget," because now you're dealing with the HIV everyday.
The celebration in the song, is "when it's goin' down." As if he's ramjam crazy and in her head, it's going down... I'm yelling timber, as the tree finally falls to the ground and you've probably contracted HIV.
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